Regency Notes - How Gentlemen greet each other

A few notes on the etiquette for Gentlemen greeting each other.

1. The Hierarchy of the Hand
In the Regency era, social rank dictated everything. A gentleman would never offer his hand to a social superior (such as a Duke or an Earl if he were a member of the gentry).

The Superior Initiates: The person of higher rank had to offer their hand first. If they didn't, the lower-ranking gentleman would simply offer a polite bow.

The Lady Decides: A gentleman never initiated a handshake with a lady. It was entirely her prerogative to offer her hand; if she didn't, he would bow.

2. The Physicality: Clasp, Don't Pump
A Regency "shake" was often more of a firm clasp than the modern "up-and-down" pumping motion.

The Grip: It was expected to be a firm, brief pressure. A "limp" hand was seen as a sign of a weak character, while a violent shake was considered boorish.

The Glove Rule: Generally, a gentleman was expected to remove his right-hand glove before shaking hands in a private home or familiar setting. However, in formal settings like a ballroom, he would keep his gloves on to avoid getting perspiration on his partner or host.

3. Public vs. Private
Context mattered immensely.

On the Street: It was actually considered slightly impolite to stop and shake hands on a busy public thoroughfare because it could block the path of others. A gentleman would more likely "tip his hat" or give a "nod of recognition."

At Home: The handshake was common when greeting a friend or guest in a private drawing room. It signaled a level of intimacy and "acceptance" into the inner circle.

4. The "Deal" Heritage
Before it became a common greeting, the handshake was primarily used to finalize a business transaction or to signal the end of a quarrel ("Let us shake hands and be friends"). By the Regency period, the middle and upper classes were adopting it as an egalitarian way to greet equals, which is why you see it frequently in Jane Austen's novels (such as Marianne Dashwood impulsively offering her hand to Willoughby).

The Regency Rule of Thumb: If you weren't sure of your standing, you bowed. The bow was the safe, standard greeting for first introductions and formal occasions; the handshake was reserved for when you were "well-acquainted."